


i think i'm better when i'm with you, but i worry when you're gone, i think i need to learn to love myself, i must learn to be strong

by stupidhoejuice



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, my first fic so dont be mean wtf, what should have happened in308
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 16:48:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17666348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidhoejuice/pseuds/stupidhoejuice
Summary: this is basically a really short one shot about what i think should have happened during that seizure scene in 3x08, my little headcanon, so i just put it into words whew





	i think i'm better when i'm with you, but i worry when you're gone, i think i need to learn to love myself, i must learn to be strong

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic so dont be mean about it because i will cry :) my twitter is @stupidhoejuice and idk if im gonna do another oneshot in the future..... depends on how this one goes. anyways whew enjoy

the head bitch in charge. 

it’s something that the entire town can rely on to stay the same. the way she takes each step with conviction and determination. the sway of her hips as she walks past her fellow classmates, who stare in awe, wonder and at times envy. and her smile- a smile that could have someone of any build or height melting at her feet, kissing the very ground she walks on and waiting on her next command. everyone loves her. everyone wants to be her. and she’s here to stay.

cheryl blossom. 

except this time, she’s accompanied by her girlfriend, her pink haired, badass, biker girlfriend that no one had expected to peak cheryl’s interest. but here they are, almost four months after they had first kissed, walking down the hallways of riverdale high school hand in hand, both in their river vixens uniforms, leading the squad with the confidence of a military sergeant heading into war. 

it’s no secret that the once quiet and quaint town of riverdale had turned into nothing short of a thriller film almost overnight. with everything going on- archie andrews arrest at the hands of notorious criminal hiram lodge, a looming gang war between the ghoulies and the serpents, and a terrifying figure with a tree like build claiming the lives of the ones foolish enough to play the new game griffins and gargoyles- there was no doubt that the citizens of the small town had reason to be upset and afraid for their lives at all times. everything was falling apart so fast, and no one really had any idea of what to do. 

but cheryl... cheryl couldn’t find it in her to be sulking like the rest of them, not when she had just come back from the most incredible three-month road trip with her beloved, and not when she was starting her junior year with everything that she had ever wanted.

she felt like she was at the top of the world. 

which is why when she was walking down that hallway, smiling from ear to ear and swinging the hand that was intertwined with toni’s between them, she had no idea of what was about to go down.

it was like a sequence of events. it happened so fast, so sudden, that cheryl didn’t even have time to think about what her next move was. toni held her head in her free hand. it was like she suddenly got a throbbing headache, like someone had struck her in the back of her head, and cheryl stopped and looked at her in concern. 

“t.t, are you alright?”

“yeah, i- i don’t know what just happened. maybe i’m just dehydrated.” 

“okay....,” cheryl started walking once more, this time having her arm around the smaller girl, leading her to the school gym. “well, let’s go to the gym, i’ll get you some wat-“

toni stumbled over her feet. she stumbled, which caused her to fall. and when she fell, she hit her head, and her body started convulsing, powerful spasms hitting her, wave after wave, eyes rolling to the back of her head and mouth agape as her arms and legs twitched violently. and it was like a signal, an alert, that soon had all the girls behind her following suit. 

cheryl stood. she stood still for about five seconds, hands shaking and sweat starting to build on her forehead, before the most blood curdling scream escaped her mouth. 

toni... who only ever played the game twice with jughead jones after he convinced them, who hadn’t touched the new drug going around, fizzle rocks, since they touched the streets of riverdale, who was perfectly healthy... her toni... was on the floor, muscles tensing and convulsing, chest rising and falling violently. 

why is no one helping, please, someone help...

cheryl made a beeline for toni, feeling silly for just standing there when the one person that she loved, the one person that made her happy was in danger, and she carefully placed her hands on the small of toni’s back and the back of her head on her thigh and bent down over her. 

“HELP! PLEASE, SOMEBODY HELP!” cheryl was screaming, her throat aching from how many times she repeated her words, but she needed someone to help her. she had realized that toni wasn’t the only one seizing, that her friend veronica was only a few feet away from her going through the same motions as toni, but she had tunnel vision. 

she needed to toni to be okay. she wasn’t sure of exactly what the fuck was happening, but all she knew was that she needed for her girlfriend to be safe, she couldn’t lose her, not when things were going so good for them...

kevin comes running out of god knows where, and he only takes in what is going on for a few seconds before he jumps into action. he sprints over to veronica, carefully supporting her weight as he takes out his phone and starts dialing a number. 

“yes hello? we need help at riverdale high school! something happened... i don’t know what... and about twenty teenage girls started seizing! hurry, please!” kevin’s voice was frantic on the phone as he looked over and saw cheryl hunched over toni’s still trembling figure, sobbing uncontrollably and whispering into the smaller girl’s ear. 

“they said they’re on their way, cheryl, what the hell happened?” 

but cheryl ignores him, continues whispering into toni’s neck, her own tears falling onto the skin of her shaking girlfriend. 

“i’ve got you, baby... please hold on... i’m right here...”

xxx

cheryl doesn’t know how long she stays in the riverdale medical emergency room for, but it feels like forever as she waits for news on her girlfriend’s state. she traveled with her on the ambulance after much protest from the emt, holding onto her hand and whispering into her ear that she wasn’t going anywhere. but they had held her back when they got to the emergency room, ordering her to stay in the waiting area until she got the word that she could come and see her. 

ever since then, which was about an hour ago, she hasn’t stopped pacing back and forth, nibbling at the skin on her lips and sniffling quietly. she was still in her vixens uniform, seeing as she hadn’t had the time to change into regular clothes. she was just... so worried... and she knows that the sudden seizure hadn’t had the power to kill toni, but the thought that she was put in danger like that in the first place had her spiraling. 

she didn’t want to lose toni, didn’t want anything to happen to that girl after everything that she’s done for cheryl. cheryl wasn’t sure that she would be able to handle a nurse or doctor coming out and saying that something serious had happened to toni, that it doesn’t look good. the sad truth, but the truth nonetheless was that cheryl loved toni more than she felt like she loved herself, and for anything to jeapordize that, for that type of love to be ripped away from her so soon... she knew she wouldn’t be able to take it. 

josie and kevin had all come to wait with cheryl, all of them knowing how cheryl could get when she’s in a sad situation that she couldn’t control, and all of them equally worried about toni. it’s no secret how close the two girls had gotten over the course of four months, their relationship successfully bringing unlikely pairs of friends together, such as the two staring worriedly at cheryl right now.

“cher, you know toni’s gonna be fine, it was just a seizure,” kevin piped up carefully, trying to ease the redhead’s mind before she paced holes into the carpet of the waiting room.

“yeah, the last we heard from the doctors, the most toni could have from an episode like that is probably a concussion and a few tense muscles. it’s gonna be okay,” josie said, reaching up to pull cheryl into one of the seats. 

cheryl sits down, her mind not exactly at ease, but her body tired and needing to take a rest. she rubs at her eyes with the heel of her palms, inhaling sharply and letting out a deep sigh through her nose.

“you guys... you guys don’t understand. my heart dropped when she hit the floor at school. my mind was going a mile a minute when we were riding here on the ambulance,” cheryl rasped out, her voice scratchy and soft from her screaming and lack of use since they got here as she looks at both of them desperately, “it... tears me apart to think that someone who has made my life so much better in a matter of months could just be ripped away from me like that... and i know that t-that wasn’t the case this time, b-but it could happen any time, josie! she could get hurt at any time and i hate t-that i can’t do anything about it...” she tapers off, her emotions getting the better of her, and josie nods silently as she grips her hand and kevin gently drapes an arm around her shoulder and lets her silently cry into his neck as he speaks up softly. 

“i know what you mean, cheryl. no one can do anything to protect the people they care about at all times, and it’s a hard thing to accept. but the most that you can do is just love her. it’s obvious to everyone that you two were just meant to be together, no doubt about it. and if i were in toni’s shoes, i would be the happiest person in the world at all times knowing that i have someone that feels so strongly for me in my corner. so no matter what happens, be there for her and don’t let go, because this is the happiest i’ve seen you in a long time, cheryl, and you deserve it.” 

“she makes me happy,” cheryl smiles at her own words, wiping her tears and taking a shuddering breath in. “god, she, makes me so, so happy and i don’t know what i would do without her. i just wish i could hold her right no-. “ 

“family of toni topaz?” a short, young nurse calls out loudly, so loud that it has the trio in the waiting room jumping and snapping their heads up before cheryl processes what she says and stands up quickly, feet carrying her to stand right in front of the shorter woman. 

“yes, that’s me! i’m- i’m her girlfriend, please, i need to see her...”

the woman smiles sympathetically at cheryl’s rushed words and points towards the end of a long florescent hallway. 

cheryl looks back at her friends briefly, and when she sees kevin and josie mouthing “go ahead” and giving thumbs ups, she smiles and turns around, thanking every god that she has such supportive friends and waiting to hear where she has to go. 

“she’s in room 245... the only thing i’m going to ask you to do is to be gentle when talking to and touching her... she’s still very sensitive and she has a mild concussion from the impact of hitting her head on the floor, so just be careful,” she turns her body slightly as if to tell cheryl to go ahead, and that’s all the confirmation she needs before she’s quickly thanking the nurse and sprinting to the end of the hallway, desperate to be reunited with toni once again. 

god, you’re so in love with her...

cheryl smiles to herself before stopping in front of the door that’s separating her and toni. she takes a deep breath and wipes at her eyes once more before entering, and what she sees is something she wants to never see again.

toni’s head is lolled to one side as if she’s too tired to hold it up herself, her body looking too small compared to the size of the hospital gown she has on and the bed she’s laying on, and her eyes half open. she turns her head slightly and winces at the tenseness of her muscles as the door opens, and the smile that takes over her face is breathtaking. 

“hey, baby,” she says, her voice slightly slurred and her hoarse, her throat also scratchy from the lack of use. “did you miss me?”

cheryl whimpers and jogs over to the side of the bed where she immediately hovers over toni and presses the gentlest of kisses to her lips, making sure not to hurt her in any way. 

“you know i did,” cheryl chuckles out breathlessly, a few tears falling from her eyes and onto the tanned skin of the older girl. 

“hey, hey don’t cry... i’m right here, i’m okay, don’t worry cher.”

“god, i know, i... this just put everything into perspective for me, and i just- i love you so much, toni, and i can’t bare anything happening to you.” 

“i love you too, cheryl, you have to know that. and as much as you hate bearing the thought of anything happening to me, i hate leaving you alone. you mean the absolute world to me.” 

toni pulls her back down for another kiss, a deeper one, her lips moving expertly against cheryl’s, until she pulls away breathlessly and looks into those brown eyes she loves so much. 

“so... do you know exactly what the hell happened back there? because i sure don’t.”

cheryl chuckles and kisses her girlfriend’s forehead before she sits down at the edge of the bed. 

“i don’t know either, but trust me, as soon as veronica wakes up, i’m taking her with me and we’re going to do some investigating, because something happened, and you mess with my girl, you mess with me,” cheryl screws up her face in mock anger, which causes them both to laugh out loud. 

toni grabs her hand before she kisses it and sighs, closing her eyes contently at having her girlfriend by her side. “god, you’re such an idiot.”

cheryl intertwines their fingers and smiles. “but i’m your idiot.”

“that you are, bombshell. that you are.”


End file.
